Meals are so stressful. As such it's means three maximal stressful times every single day. It feels endless. You desperately want your child to eat well and eat healthy but trying to get them to eat anything at all ends up being the main goal. You end up giving them food that you swore pre-baby that you would never dream of giving them. It would all be fresh organic vegetables and meat from animals who only experienced sunny days and lush green grass.
So many of the pre-baby promises you made yourself fall by the wayside when reality strikes. You end up judging yourself because society judges you.
You speak to other mothers and they give the same old adage "they usually grow out of it". This is really not much help in the midst of months of preparing meals every day only to have them end up on the floor. You panic your child won't gain weight and end up slipping down the growth charts: then the health visitors will start making notes about your child. It's an endless cycle of stress. You just can't win, even if you are trying your best.
Every day when I send my child to nursery I feel like a useless mother because my toddler can't eat what other toddlers her age eat. As such I am sure she is extra work for them and I worry they will resent me for it. I know it's their job to look after her and meet her needs but you can't help but feel like your mothering skills are being, not judged, but viewed by people with a lot more experience and knowledge and you feel like you're the new girl and you don't know what your doing. You see other parents drop their kids off and wonder what they have packed in their children's lunchboxes. I bet their children eat sandwiches!
You start wondering about what their children do at home. Do they swipe their food onto the floor? Do they sometimes refuse to eat anything? Do they wipe food all over their face and hair? Do they drop it on the floor to see what happen: not just a few bits, but most of their meal?! Do they eat home cooked meals 3 times a day or eat special baby food? So many questions and you convince yourself that everyone else's kids eat properly and it's just you that can't do it. Sort yourself out woman! Be a better mum! Cook more! Let your baby/toddler lead the way! Do it better!!
Weary.
